Fishing for Criminals

Every week I enjoy reading my local Police Blotter. (so many typos! morons)
Anyway, It never ceases to amaze me as to how many dumb assholes there are in my local area (aside from the police)
In every weeks blotter there are just way too many episodes of petty theft. My favorites are the stupid assholes that have the utter gall to steal wallets out of women's purses at the Grocery store while these dumb-ass oblivious woman are in "shopping mode" and leave their purses in the front of their carts.
I'd like to just take a moment to say, Dumb, dumb, DUMB! NEVER leave your purse open in the front of your shopping cart and walk away…you're just asking for it at this point. I really have no sympathy for you morons that do this. But nevertheless, It got me thinking….
Today I'm going to go into my vast closet, and select from my shelf of outdated purses that I care nothing about, a nice deep dark purse that opens wide. I'm then going to go to my local Grocery store. I'm going to leave my purse wide open in the front of my cart – just like you morons do…BUT hidden in my purse will be rat traps…yes, RAT TRAPS. They will be set to catch and damage the fingers of those stupid enough to try to put their hands in my purse. This will teach those lazy don't want to work like the rest of us, thieves, to NEVER attempt this again.
If you try to steal from me you deserve to pull your hand swiftly from my purse. You deserve to experience the White Hot pain that you will feel, and I get to admire the bloody stumps that you once called fingers.

I call this new sport, Fishing for Criminals.

(C) 2009 SandyV